


like a thunder-clapping cloud

by abhorsen (beeezie)



Series: Drastoria dys/function [14]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Draco Malfoy is a Good Boyfriend, Engagement, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Self-Harm, Top Draco Malfoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:15:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29413971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beeezie/pseuds/abhorsen
Summary: "Hi," I heard Draco's voice when my brother yanked it open. "Um - sorry, Astoria had said that she'd probably be eating up here, and she didn't answer downstairs -"June 2002(part of a series of one-shots, can be read alone)
Relationships: Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy
Series: Drastoria dys/function [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/443863
Kudos: 14





	like a thunder-clapping cloud

I sat back on my couch and shoved the parchment away from me, feeling thoroughly annoyed. I also knew that feeling annoyed because Draco was working late was also thoroughly _unfair,_ which somehow had the effect of only annoying me more.

I heard someone upstairs, and the issue of telling my brother and his family about the ring that I kept twisting around my finger came back to forefront of my mind. Rather than continue to mope about Draco being very understandably busy or feel anxious about admitting that I'd decided to say yes when he'd proposed with very little conscious consideration, I left it on my side table and wandered upstairs. When I opened the door separating my flat from the rest of my brother's house, I found Brendon standing at the counter. "Hey," I said, pushing the door closed behind me. "Want some help?"

He glanced over at me and grinned. "Nah, it's fine - I'm just making enchiladas. You can sit down and keep me company, though, if you like. Are you joining us?" I nodded and slid into one of the chairs.

"Sure."

"Just you, or both of you?"

One of the many things I really valued about my brother was how seamlessly he'd slipped into making a point of including my boyfriend in things. "Just me. He's working late - he said he was probably going to just go home and crash when he was done. He wants to take his birthday off next week."

Brendon laughed and turned back to the counter. "Yeah, he's mentioned that about half a dozen times. Did you get him anything yet?"

My heart was hammering. "Does saying yes when he proposed count?"

The knife came down on the cutting board one more time and then fell sideways. My brother turned around slowly. "Proposed - marriage?"

I wasn't sure I'd ever seen his eyebrows raised that high. "Kind of."

"Tori, I think that's a question that you either ask or you don't - there's no 'kind of.'" I felt my face start to get hot, and he glanced down at my fingers.

"I - I do have a ring, I just - I didn't want that to be how I told everyone. Or - you guys, I guess." He was leaning against the counter now, and I couldn't read his expression. "You're judging me."

He sighed. "I'm trying really hard not to." I'm not sure what expression showed up on my face, but some of the hurt clearly got through, because he winced. He grabbed his wand, pointed it at the knife, and sat down as it started to chop on its own. "How long have you even been dating for?"

"Almost nine months." That was a very generous interpretation, but when relationships worked out, I'd found that people usually used the generous interpretation rather than a more technical one - and once I'd been put in that position, it had suddenly made all the sense in the world to me.

His eyebrows drew together - at least he momentarily diverted. "Wait, you started dating in _September?_ How the fuck did I miss that for two months?"

"Well, you didn't," I said. "You thought we were, and you asked me, and I said no, but then the answer changed the next day."

He shook his head. Now he was smiling, which seemed like an improvement, at least. "Look, Astoria, I _do_ trust your judgment, and I do genuinely think that he's a good person. If you're sure -"

"I am."

"- then…" He shrugged. "I'll remind myself that I trust your judgment until it sinks in. For the record, though, this seems like the kind of impulsive thing I'd do, not you."

That made me laugh. "I'd - I don't know. I'd kind of thought about it before, so I didn't need to keep thinking about it. He was kind of surprised that I just said yes, too."

Brendon got to his feet. "Get up," he told me. Once I had, he wrapped his arms around me. "Congratulations," he said. "Seriously."

"Thanks." I edged toward the door. "I'm - uh - gonna go get the ring."

He snorted and jerked his head toward the table. "Set that then you get back up here, would you?"

To my intense relief, Addison kept any negative thoughts behind her own vaguely attentive look when I told her the news and showed them both my ring before dinner. I wasn't expecting either of them to entirely suspend their skepticism - I just didn't want to feel like I had to actively defend myself. She shepherded my niece and nephew upstairs afterward, and Brendon and I were halfway through a post-dinner drink in the living room when we heard a knock at the front door.

"Hi," I heard Draco's voice when my brother yanked it open. "Um - sorry, Astoria had said that she'd probably be eating up here, and she didn't answer downstairs -"

"Hey," I called out. "I thought you weren't going to come by."

He hovered in the doorway of the living room, looking a little uncomfortable. "Yeah, well. I -"

"Sit down," Brendon called over his shoulder as he headed for the kitchen. "Do you want a drink?"

Draco's face flushed. "I - yeah, if it's not a problem." When he sat down next to me, he glanced at my hand. "Oh," he said as my brother handed him the bottle. The discomfort was not dissipating - his face was rapidly getting redder. "You're wearing it. You told them, then?"

I nodded, and Brendon snapped his fingers. "Right - congratulations, by the way. Be nice to my sister."

I was opening my mouth to tell him to stop it when I saw some of the tension drain out of Draco's body. He laughed, and I closed my mouth without saying anything - I wasn't sure what the joke was, exactly, but it seemed like there was some history behind it, and if whatever it was was putting Draco at ease, I'd give them the benefit of the doubt.

"I'm always nice to your sister," Draco responded.

"Doesn't sound like you."

Draco relaxed a little more. "I like her more than you." Then he glanced at me - I hadn't actually said anything, but he'd gotten good at heading off things that had a high likelihood of leaving me feeling irritated. "I thought he was going to do some overprotective thing after he realized we were dating, and I was trying to - head it off, I guess. He started fucking with me." Most of the irritation I'd been starting to feel drained away, and he glanced upstairs. "Where are the terrors?"

My brother grinned. "Addison's getting them to bed. And be nice - they're going to be your niece and nephew."

I liked my fiance's laugh. I wished he'd use it more often. "Lucky me."

We'd just finished our drinks when Johanna's voice echoed down the stairs. _"Dad,"_ she called, drawing the the word out. "Come read me a book, Mum says it's Alec's turn but I'm not _tired."_

Brendon rolled his eyes and go to his feet. "I'll be up in a sec, Jo," he called back. "I'll read you another, but only if you're in bed by the time I get there."

We heard a squeal and the patter of footsteps down the hallway upstairs. I laughed at the expression on Brendon's face. "It's your own fault," I told him. "You always say yes when she does this."

"Yeah, well." He grinned at us. "Congratulations again. Night."

As we headed down the stairs,, Draco said, "Just between us, no matter how many kids they have, I feel like I'm never going to be sure whether she's my favorite or my least favorite of them. It'll definitely be one or the other, though."

"Yeah, well. Jo is… singular." When we reached the bottom, he turned and caught me up in a hug. "I thought you weren't going to come by," I said, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Disappointed?" He leaned down to kiss me rather than wait for a snarky answer. His tongue brushed against mine, and his hands started to drift downward. "God, I love it when you wear skirts," he said as his fingers brushed against me through my underwear and leggings.

"Be honest. You came by because you're horny and wanted to fuck your girlfriend, didn't you?"

He grinned. "No, I came by because I'm horny and wanted to fuck my fiancee." I felt a pleasant warmth spread through me as he led me over to the couch, and when I curled up against him, I felt him sigh. "So how'd they take it?"

"My brother asked how long we'd been dating."

He winced. "What'd you say?"

I shrugged. "I told him the truth." Draco looked less than thrilled by that. "Oh - just in case it wasn't clear, though, I'm not taking your name. I hate your family."

He swallowed hard. "Yeah, well, I wasn't going to ask you to. I actually - look, my father will kill me when he hears about this, but I've been thinking that I'd maybe be just as happy to not have my family's particular legacy attached to me anymore in the first place."

My eyebrows flew up. "Are you thinking about changing your name?" He winced and nodded. "To _mine?"_ He nodded again. "You want to be a _Greengrass?"_

"I don't know," he said quickly. "I just - I wondered what you thought. We don't have to talk about it right now. We probably shouldn't."

I was very tempted to keep prodding at him, especially since he seemed to keen to change the topic. I had other, more pressing things on my mind, though, so I got up and pulled him to his feet. "Were you going to fuck me or not?"

As soon as we'd closed my bedroom door behind us, I dropped to my knees and unbuttoned his trousers. "Fuck," he groaned as I took him in my mouth. _"Fuck._ Yes, Astoria, _yes."_ His grip on my hair tightened, and I whimpered into him. _"Fuck -_ you're mine, Astoria, you're all _mine."_

It didn't take him long. When I sat back on my heels and grinned up at him, he drew in a shaky breath. "Fuck, you're good at that. I'm going to jump in the shower - don't touch yourself until I get back."

I didn't listen, because of course I didn't. Instead, I flopped onto my bed, waited for the shower to turn on, and then reached down.

When he came out of the bathroom, still toweling off his hair, he grinned at me. "You look a lot more happy than frustrated. You didn't wait, did you?"

"Nope," I said cheerfully.

"Of course you didn't," he said. There was a small smirk on his face. I found it strangely endearing. "Do you want me to punish you?" I stretched my arms over my head, and he let out a groan. _"Fuck,_ you have no idea how much hotter this is with you wearing my fucking ring."

A jolt went through me. "Kiss me," I breathed. "Draco, please -"

His lips were on mine before I could finish the sentence, and his fingers drifted downward. When I cried out into his mouth, he pulled away. "Am I driving you crazy?"

_"Yes!"_

"Good." He looked intensely pleased with himself. "You're just my Gryffindor whore, and you haven't earned it yet."

"Do you give rings to all your whores, or am I special?"

His fingers slid into me, and I cut off my next sentence with a moan. "I can think of better ways for you to use that tongue than talking back to me."

"Like what?" I gasped.

"You know how much I love to gag you," he said softly, and a pleasant shiver ran down my spine. "You know how much I love tearing off your clothes, handcuffing your hands behind your back, and shoving you to your knees."

"Please!" I felt my hips starting to move against him. "Yes, please, _yes -"_

"Beg me," he hissed. "Beg me for it, Astoria."

By the time he collapsed next to me, we were both thoroughly exhausted. Once he'd caught his breath, though, he grabbed his wand off the table and nudged me. "Roll over so I can heal those."

I made a face at him. "Draco, it's fine, seriously. It doesn't hurt in a bad way. And anyway, are you _really_ telling me that seeing a couple bruises on my arm that you put there doesn't get you going?" I reached over to start to stroke him.

He sighed and shifted his position, and I snatched my hand back. "Yeah, sometimes," he admitted. "But sometimes it just makes me feel guilty and fucked up - and even if I always liked it, there's no amount of liking it that makes it worth the risk of someone else seeing it. Astoria, especially with me being - you know, me - there's no universe in which people wouldn't think the worst, and once that's in someone's head, there's no getting it out."

I stretched out my arms. He had a point. "Not the inside."

"Fine," he said in a tone that made it clear that it was very much not fine. I didn't acknowledge it, and he didn't push it.

"And you're not abusive."

"Yeah, I know." I gave him a skeptical look over my shoulder - the Draco Malfoy guilt complex was nothing if not consistently overactive - and he managed a smile. "No, Astoria, I really do. I feel fucked up for liking it, but - I mean, you like it, too, and it's not like it's changed us everywhere else."

"Do you think _I'm_ fucked up for liking it?"

I wasn't sure why I was trying to pick a fight, though at least I could recognize that I was.

He sighed. "I mean... yeah, a little? Maybe a better way to put it is that it makes me worry about you."

There it was. "I'm not cutting myself more than I used to."

"I know, but I wish you were doing it less - and that's _not_ a sex thing, Astoria, so don't try to compare them."

I didn't try to argue with him. I usually try to avoid arguments that I can't win. "Why does it bother you so much?"

"Because it's not _good,_ Astoria! It's not good that you feel overwhelmed to the extent that you need to do something that makes me queasy, and I'm so rough when we fuck that I have to heal you so no one gets the wrong idea."

I fell back onto the pillow. "You don't understand."

"You're right," he said. "I don't, and you've told me that I'm not capable of understanding it, and I honestly don't want to. I just want you to stop hurting so much that you need to hurt yourself."

"It's just a release."

"And it's a release that you shouldn't fucking need to manage how you feel." He tried to hold my gaze; when I looked at the wall instead, he sighed. "Astoria - I get it, I do, and I'm not asking you to hide it or cover it up. I just... I wish you took those 'bad moments' more seriously, because they scare me."

"Would you want to do that to me?"

"No, and stop trying to change the subject."

"Why not? You like hurting me in other ways."

He groaned and looked up at the ceiling. "Yeah, well, if knifeplay ever would've appealed to me - and I genuinely don't know that it would've - you've definitely cured me of it. It makes me feel sick, not turned on." A shudder went through him. It didn't look like a pleasant one. "I don't know. I like being rough and possessive, but I don't want to feel like I'm forcing you, even if it's just pretend - I want you begging me to do things to you, not begging me to stop. Knives don't feel like they lend themselves to that." He narrowed his eyes at me. "Why, do you want me to? Because Astoria, I love you, but I don't think I can do that."

"No! I was just - I dunno. Trying to change the subject, I guess."

It took him a minute to respond to that. Then he swallowed hard. "Okay. I mean - you can tell me if you're asking that for real - I'm not going to judge you for it or anything. Just - yeah, I don't think I can do it." He made a face. "Well, if you _were_ genuinely just trying to change the subject, it worked. Astoria, you're such a fucking pain sometimes."

"Want the ring back?"

"Oh, fuck, please don't even joke about that - you're going to give me a heart attack."

**Author's Note:**

> kudos/comments super appreciated!


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